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What would you say Kwame is the one single most important thing that we online payday loans manitoba need to know to become a better negotiator? The number one thing that people need to recognize when it comes to negotiation is that negotiation is everywhere. You just have to put yourself in the mindset that everything is a negotiation. Kwame:Absolutely, and I remember I was listening to one of your episodes before.
I think it was on the flagship BiggerPockets episode, and Carol one of the things you mentioned was that the simplest thing you can do to practice your negotiation is to just practice listening, not talking instant loan approval no credit check in a conversation. I remember I have a 5-year-old and around the holidays, my son was acting up a bit in school. I want to make it abundantly clear this was not easy, not easy at all to do. Now if you think about that conversation, if I would have started off more combative, if I would have started off defensively, that conversation would not have gone very well, but I went through that painful process of listening for the moment because it was effective in the moment, but also thinking long term this is a practice opportunity. I do want to go back to one thing because you had an amazing nugget in there that you glossed over, but I think is super important. What was your reason for taking the time and reiterating back to her what you thought she was saying? What you do is you summarize what the person says, and you do it by saying this. I think about it in terms of a game, where the other side is the referee.
People feel like they are in control when they have the cash advance loan definition opportunity to correct you. Carol:I love that, I love that and I also want to make sure we touch upon even more, and I keep coming back to these different strategies. Can you speak some more to that and specifically, how we can adjust our mindsets to realize that negotiation is not a you versus me? Number three and most importantly, how can I strengthen the relationship through payday loans benefits the process? I want to think about all three of these pillars of negotiation as I enter the dialogue. Yeah, I could bully her using attorney and negotiation skills, and get what I want.
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They analyzed over 200 negotiations in a laboratory setting. They had one group that just went into the negotiation, and they measured those outcomes.
Then they had another group that did one thing that was different. All they did was they took the time to prepare thoroughly before the negotiation.
Not only did they instant payday loan lenders win more for themselves, but by using creativity and negotiating collaboratively, they were able to find ways to create value for the other side. I think one of the most important things that we need to do during the preparation process is come up with a list of open-ended questions that we want to ask during the conversation. If I put the right questions together and sequence them the right way, it puts me in a much better position for success. J:I love that, and we talk about that a lot, not asking the yes and no questions, but asking the questions that actually further the dialogue. Real estate, we talk about a lot because a lot of our listeners are real estate investors. A lot of times, we go online payday loans manitoba into a negotiation thinking the seller just wants to get the highest price. Kwame:Yeah, absolutely, and I think this really comes down to the distinction between interest versus positions because to your point, we have this assumption that oh, they want to maximize value and not only that, they want to maximize value at my expense, right? I think to your point J, we have to be able to hold back that desire to persuade. There are persuasive questions that you can and should ask, but you need to do it at the right time.
Speaking of this whole notion of confusing interest with position a mistake people often make of making assumptions about what the other person wants to accomplish, what are some of the other big mistakes you see people regularly making in the negotiation process? We want to make money, and there are rational logical choices that can be made that could maximize our returns. We assume that the other person is going to try to do something similar, and the reality is that when you look into the psychology about it, the majority of times, people will make decisions with their emotions and then subsequently justify it with their logic. I would talk to one party in private, so they can share with me instead of posturing and posing for the other side. Okay, great, I get their information, then I go to the other side, do the same thing. When it comes to payday loans austin these business negotiations, one of the biggest mistakes that we make is that we are trying to make logical, rational decisions based on data and information, right? Whether we like dealing with emotions or not, those emotions are going to play the role of hidden, online payday loans manitoba and sometimes not so hidden barriers in these negotiations. Do you have any great case studies or stories that you can share with us about that type of situation? Kwame:Absolutely, and this is why I still practice law. In the past a few years ago, I was dealing with a situation where it was a family business. When people are hurt, they want to hurt other people.
You probably heard the saying hurt people, hurt people, right? I have to go through this process, understand their emotions, process 100 guaranteed loans for bad credit it by using the compassionate curiosity framework. Yeah, no, that makes sense, online payday loans manitoba it makes complete sense. I have to go and get everybody aligned internally first using these exact same negotiation skills, and then I need to negotiate with my lawyers and the legal team to get them on board with the negotiation strategy.
Joint problem solving, reconciling the differences between our hearts and our minds. What would satisfy me emotionally and what would satisfy me substantively? Even though I thought I was being really rational, what I recognized is that for me as a lawyer, the way that I cover my emotions is with rationality. I was able to handle those negotiations more effectively via text message. That sounds shocking, because the general rule that I give people is that the more emotional the conversation, the more personal the contact needs to be. In person, even better, but with Whitney, it was a lot easier via text message because I could communicate the fact that I was feeling emotions using words in a way that she could understand and appreciate.
Showing that you care and showing a hint of emotionality at times strategically is sometimes the best strategic thing to do.
You also have to be real with yourself and know who you are and how you appear to other people.
In that situation, the best strategy for me and Whitney was text message. Oo other relationship do I have where that holds true. Context is everything, and so that needs to be part of the analysis as well.
When is email the best if do people still use email, right? How do we determine what is the best communication method so that we can achieve what the best solution is for all parties in a negotiation?
I think what we have to do is we need to analyze again our own strengths, analyze the other person, and then just analyze those best practices. Then during the conversation, you have the conversation. Then after the conversation, you follow up via email.